The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
February 22, 2005


Well, Diary, I guess Constance is somewhat sensitive afterall. For Valentine’s Day (and night) she handed me William Strunk junior’s “Elements of Style”, an excellent guide regarding mechanics and grammar for one’s pen, with humble additions by E.B. White. Thus, I am caught in Strunk’s web. If I’m going to write in you I suppose active voice, clarity, and avoiding negatives are in order. Beware the mindless scribblings of ones mind. My third grade teacher might just be proud. I hope this doesn’t seem grotesque, Diary, but now that I think about it, she might be the source of my decided attraction toward the female form. I mean any rogue could bat either way, even W.C. Fields, yet it is women like her that keep us boys true. I wonder if attractive elementary school teachers are placed intentionally. My awareness of lipstick must not be an accident afterall. Good day.

[signed] Nick

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