The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
October 11, 2004


I have decided to wage war on Ishii's kids. I know, I know, better judgement would be to ignore their antics, but because of them I haven't read the Calendar section in weeks. There is more evidence, trust me, but that alone is enough to make a man my age a little rash. This morning they duct taped the storm door shut in a way that not only made me walk right into it, but to also rip the thing off it's aluminum hinges. I fell to the ground in a heap, and as I nursed my ankle I heard their giggles from the bushes. I chased Heckle and Jeckle down and locked them in the trunk of Monolo's Isuzu. I couldn't think of anything clever, so this will have to do. I better go let them out, thanks as always for listening diary.

[signed] Nick

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