The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
August 6, 2005


The lawn guys came by to even out my bushes today. I just re-read that last sentence and it sounds a little off-color, but I assure you it is literal. I was out front grabbing the papers last week and upon returning I found myself staring at the Nolte manor. At first I was just admiring, but then I found myself wearing my judge's badge. I was shocked to see that the whole place seemed to slope impossibly to the West. It gave me a slight case of vertigo, hell I even dropped the Sacramento Bee. The more I stared at the house the more I realized two things, one, itís not a bad looking spread overall, and two, the house is not in fact sloping, its the bushes that throw everything off. Problem solved. Peace.

[signed] Nick

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