The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
July 26, 2005


I double bagged my tea this morning and headed for the sauna. I am feeling good about the latest draft of my script. I even managed to fit in Manolo's joke about ball markers without it seeming "thrown in." My agent has warned me though, that I need to arrive at a pseudonym before it can circulate. I am leaning towards Phillip Goldwire, but I am tempted to use Dalton Trumbo just to rattle some cages. That glorious son of a bitch never got his fair shake. In other news I was suspended from the club for taking liberties with the juice bar. It appears my vitamin powder has landed me in hot water once again. I tried to explain the situation but it failed to register. I think they just wanted to get back at me for refusing to wear their lame crest on my robe. Aloha.

[signed] Nick

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