The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
July 25, 2005


While I was on the phone with my tree surgeon, I found myself distracted by a bag of Manolo's trail mix. So I put the call on speakerphone to grab a handful. It turns out that he was on speakerphone as well and as a result a sound came from our phones that can only be described as religous. It was something maybe only Wagner or Bowie could have birthed. Not thinking, I hastily hit the speakerphone button again. After we closed shop we tried in vain to replicate the incident. Our attempts sounded more like feedback and morse code than anything else. I layed it down on my dictaphone anyway. Maybe Neil can use it for one of his concept albums. As it stands though, that curious sound will have to remain only in my head. As a side note, Constance is very good at shuffleboard and it frustrates me like a case of poison oak. Take care.

[signed] Nick

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