The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
July 22, 2005

No Sugar, Light Cream

You know you are in the South when you start to see liquor and bait stores. And you know you are in New York when you can grab a fifty cent cup of coffee that will part your hair. Seriously, why pay more than this? Its not like the quality is any better. Perhaps if you need one of those crazy whipped sissy drinks you'll certainly need to look elsewhere, but for true coffee drinkers; its two quarters to heaven. I was enjoying such a cup when I was sideswiped by a Polish woman carrying groceries. Yes I was on foot, settle down. She hip checked me like she was Gordie Howe and some coffee ended up on the sleeve of my Seersucker. I quickly called Alphonse and he faxed me a homemade recipe for Didi-Seven. Shortly after I returned to the hotel I applied the cocktail and it did the trick. I also cleaned up my suit. Three days here and the city is keeping me a little too honest. Perhaps I need to stay a little longer; if not for the script but to get back my city legs. Good day.