The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
May 23, 2005


Local Hero is a good film, one of my favorites. So imagine my surprise when someone from Enigma called about appearing in a remake. I began blocking the months off in the mental calendar when the producer said the remake would take place on the moon. This was followed by several seconds of muffled laughter and then the unmistakable sound of Tito singing in the background. Well, it turned out to be Scotty and Manolo playing a damned phone prank. I was driving at the time so I parked at Pepperdine for a minute and gathered myself. It was the emotional equivalent of finding warm gum on the bottom of your shoe. When I returned home, I graciously admitted defeat. The real punchline is that Scotty played the British female secretary who placed the call. What a falsetto. Assalamu alaikum.

[signed] Nick

Latest Entries:
Astronaut Avocado
September 2008
July 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
December 2007
February 2007
December 2006
September 2006
August 2006
June 2006
May 2006
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004