The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
April 1, 2005


Manolo has come to terms with the fact that he is not a genius. We discovered that the same company that gave him the test and certificate also sells those vacuum cleaners that can pick up cinder blocks. The commercials are on late at night along with those ones advertising a cure for herpes. I went into town to get some yarn for an upcoming experiment I have in the hopper. Inside the store I could not find any yarn that met my specifications. I talked with the women behind the desk and she told me that most of the stuff I was looking at came from Wales. At first I thought she meant the animal but she soon cleared up my confusion. I never realized, but yarn is expensive. I estimated that if I would need a sweater made from some of the stuff I was browsing it could cost several thousand dollars. Perhaps I am in the wrong business. Save the owls Diary.

[signed] Nick

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