The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
February 11, 2005

Aviators

Doug says its a temperature inversion on the ocean that caused Catalina to look like a battleship last week. I think it's my amber aviators. I spent more than an hour and less than twenty bucks at the old marina map shoppe this morning. I was leafing through their Farallon Islands section when I overheard a young turk poke fun of my eyewear. No need to turn everything into a hat and t-shirt game, as a friend of mine likes to say, so I let it go like a rusted anchor. I am now plotting a daring course around Catalina and I hope the weather improves for it. With any luck, we'll see some mermaids, Diary, as I plan to dust off my marine spotting glasses. Mental note to ask Manolo where my sextant is. His reaction never gets old. Ahoy.