The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
February 15, 2005


I awoke to find Monolo down for the count, again. He said he caught the "Viking Flu" from one of his bandmates. I think his illness has more to do with the new daytime programming schedule. I told him I was going to try and make his famous huckleberry glaze and then asked him where the Splenda was kept. He was on his feet in no time. I think I learned this trick from an episode of Night Gallery, except replace the Splenda with a mannequin and Monolo with Roddy McDowall. Speaking of Crossing the Rubicon, Scotty just sent me a wire informing me that he will be overseas for the next few months performing Black Light Theater in a production entitled, "Horsefat and Onions." La Rochefoucauld was all too right about self love and jealousy.

[signed] Nick

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