The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
January 18, 2005


So the light turned green and I went, but a rather pale gentleman wandered out into the crosswalk. He was cleaning his hearing aid with a hankerchief and his mouth. I slammed on the brakes and the good news is, I didn't hit him, the bad news is, my pomegranite juice found a good part of the passenger's seat. I left it to Alphonse who applied some product on the stain and after my sauna, sure enough, the stain was gone. Not to mention the passenger seat was clean. He calls the stuff 'Nature's Miracle.' (although I don't think the Vatican recognizes it) Either way, consider my prayers answered. I am off to the Bike Haus.

[signed] Nick

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