The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
January 3, 2005

Wiedersehen

I just found out Zermatt isn't in the German-speaking section of Switzerland. This would explain why my German seemed to annoy everyone. For a time I chalked it up to my accent. As far as my German goes the bad news is I only really learned the greetings and automotive section of the phrase book, but the good news is I could probably run a Range Rover repair and body shop in Germany. Können sie einen Automechaniker schicken? I look forward to that call. Anyway, Terry is returning to England today. His hair was a pure white bristle this morning. I couldn't stop looking at it as we drank coffee. Constance and I will have the run of the house for our last night. Until then, Diary, mit den Bremsen stimmt etwas nicht.