The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
January 13, 2005

Retrospect

Once Scotty G. asked me rather cryptically if I "liked walkie-talkies as a kid." First of all, who didn't like walkie-talkies as a kid? Secondly, who doesn't continue to like them today? Ishii's housesitter invited me over and I got hip-deep in Ishiit, to coin a phrase. We watched a Sonics game in Ishii's den and drank tea with honey. Turns out he has the same model Mitsui that I do. Suddenly I realized the chance before me. I excused myself, palmed the honey and set out to find the kid's rooms. I poured a little honey between the pages of the little kid's baseball card binder and left the bottle in the older kid's room. Then I saw he had a pair of walkie talkies. I took just one. I think the kids will get a 10-18 when they return. The whole idea fogged my binoculars over for a bit, but in retrospect I wish I had thought of something more clever.