The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
November 26, 2004

Regrets

I'm listening to an ABBA album of Manolo's in the gray room while making script notes. Can't seem to concentrate on it, Ginko levels be damned. Last week a reporter asked me what role I had passed on that I now regretted. At the time I was in a bad mood. The tea at the production office was a mess: British and milky. So I lied and said I had no idea. Then I said I had no regrets. That fell on the reporters ears about as elegantly as a drunk cat on marbles. But now it's got me thinking. The answer might be the villan in The Great Muppet Caper. I like the idea of leading an all-woman team of cat theves, but who wouldn't? This is not to say Charles Grodin didn't do a bang-up job. I'm sure he did, although I've never seen the picture. The script is still around here somewhere.