The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
November 9, 2004


I had a reading with an actress this morning. She had a shock of red hair which looked whipped, not combed. I wanted to stick a paper cone in it and walk around the carnival. It was poetic because she also smelled like wet candy. She must have had some kind of scented lotion on. It was over powering. As you can guess, the reading didn't play. She was trained enough, but the words just are not there. Afterwards, I couldn't wait to eat, so I sneaked some Arby's on Monolo. It has been awhile since I'd been, but worth the wait. I approached the counter and asked them to make me a sandwich that would part my hair, a trick I learned from Neil. Rosa suggested the Big Montana. Sold. I sat down and took one bite; mission accomplished. Man they can throw it together there at Arby's. But I better watch out, eating these extra meals, I'm bound to pay the price. I am off for a ride.

[signed] Nick

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