The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
October 31, 2004


I don't think many people know, but I own quite a bit of stock in a vitamin shampoo company. Well, to be quite honest I had forgotten about it until now. I purchased most of it with the proceeds from the Santa Fe outdoor festival I promoted awhile back. It was a tax shelter my lawyers forced on me. Anyway, the company sent me a letter informing of the "quiet period" that begins today. That sounds like a Phillip Roth novel I thought, but then I realized I should take it seriously seeing as how that Stewart lady just got locked up. Constance called and said she would be willing to forgive me over a romantic dinner. I hope that means she is done calling me a "savage." It was getting on my nerves. I will leave Manolo in charge of the castle, let's just hope when I return there are no stains on the throne.

[signed] Nick

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