The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
October 12, 2004

Honorable Mention

Well the wheels are certainly turning diary, but the brakes do not work. I am back from wine country and Constance and I are not speaking. For the record, never use the word "dumpy" when your date is in a bikini and getting ready to use the pool. Not even if you are describing the condition of the resident tobacconist. I have come back to the 'Bu to find that Sam is gone, my bird is sick and Monolo has bought yet another refrigerator. I guess it could be worse, then again it could be so much better. I am off to the chiropractor.