The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
October 3, 2004

Kingmaker

The worse thing about going to wine country is the yuppies. Constance and I were just trying to get out of the city and relax. This is hard to do when you are jockeying for a parking space with some son of a bitch who can't wear socks with his sissy-loafers. Plus he's trying to park his impossibly large truckvan into a compact spot. I miss the days when wine country meant just that, wine country. Monolo finally got around to pitching me his idea for a fitness show. It turns out it is actually a reality show and has nothing to do with fitness. The basic idea is to humiliate people and have cash prizes. He says the show should be called 'Punch My Mustache.' I wasn't really paying attention, he said it was translated. Who knows? I have heard stranger ideas.